Like the in & out of the ocean tides
and the waxing and waning of the moon,
I am currently learning there is also a balance between
empowerment and depowerment.
Am I strong or weak?
Am I good or bad?
Am I lovable or unlovable?
Is the glass half full or half empty?
Yet however I answer these questions is really ok. It is not a problem.
For my life is a discovery in process of self-acceptance.
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Dictionary.com, under the Usage Note, makes it clear that the word empowerment
was mainly used in the political sense starting in the mid 1800's,
i.e. "To empower ordinary citizens." Then the word began to take on the meaning to enable,
"Computers empower students to become intellectual explorers."
Dictionary.com continues, "It has migrated out of the political arena into other fields."
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These two uses of empowerment point to a power external to the body. "TO" empower,
"TO" enable is a bit like getting permission from a person, place, or thing outside of me.
It is a power given to me from an outside source. I am then dependent upon this external source
for any power or happiness whatsoever. Some examples are money, oil, the power company,
sex (another body), medicine, information, tools, traveling to a distant land,
traveling to outer space,
my neighbor,
my best friend,
my spouse,
my siblings,
my parents,
my heritage.
This page explores empowerment as pointing to a power that is internal.
And this state of internal empowerment is a living process.
It is a choice.
The choice for empowerment vs. the choice for weakness, helplessness, and victimhood.
It is internal power as opposed to external power.
It is not a power over others.
It is a state of personal authority.
A state of control.
A state of equality.
A state of freedom.
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The dynamic that other people external to you can control your feelings
is the very definition of DEpowment (or giving your own power away).
In my experience, this societal norm automatically teaches me how I become a victim to others
and that I do not have any control over my own life.
This normal focus of "the outside of me is more important than the inside of me"
also results in me trying really hard to control other peoples' feelings,
and then blaming them for my own feelings.
My perception is then totally warped, upside-down, and inside-out.
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In the state of being EMpowered, my focus is inside of me.
I own the fact that I am the only life that I have any control over.
My energy feels better and it healthily stays within me. I am in control of my own power.
I do not give it away for others to use unconsciously, or abuse consciously.
Blaming others on the outside world comes to a halt and my life becomes more manageable,
less chaotic, and happier. No one else then contains the power to make me feel sad or hurt
or depressed. I cease to allow another to have that kind of power over me any longer.
In this state of empowerment, I can take responsibility for how I am setting myself up
to become a victim. I can choose to feel happy about this empowering state of freedom.
I can own the choices I make.
And in so doing, the weight of setting myself up to be a victim to the outside world
lifts off of me and I feel buoyant.
A weight loss program that really works!
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A big symptom that I see in the depowered state (the hypnosis that only valid power
comes from outside of me, the societal trance of looking to the outside,
or as John Bradshaw coined - being "otherated"), is the idea that "things happen TO me."
This is not to minimize the validity of the objective world,
but merely to maximize the disabling nature of feeling like a victim to the objective world.
I want to learn the idea that life doesn't necessarily
happen TO you, but rather it happens THROUGH you.
When life happens TO me, I've noticed that it is easier for me to feel helpless,
and in turn gives me no choice but to depend upon the outside world.
Choosing to need another is one thing, but having no choice in needing another is another thing.
In placing too heavy of a focus on the outside world and thereby blaming "them,"
an additional, yet ironic, symptom of the depowered state (for myself) is then
self blaming. A dysfunctional blame-them/blame-me cycle runs daily on automatic pilot.
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Sometimes it seems that before affirmations (personal statements of strength)
it feels more authentic to question (personal questions of either strength or weakness).
Affirmation = "I am strong." Question = "Am I strong?"
If a human being could allow themselves to imagine a state
of weakness or strength as if they are coming to a Y in the road,
happiness and health could perhaps be the result.
In using this image a person can see this Y in the road
as a simple YES or NO choice where in, from a different point of view, "it doesn't matter"
which choice is made. It's simply a choice. And it is ok whatever choice is made.
Accurate and authentic reflections from each choice are then the natural result.
Some days would be a "Yes," while other days would be a "No."
You might choose "No" on Monday, but maybe on Tuesday you may feel,
"I need to try the "Yes" road today!"
For a human soul, choosing to be strong or weak does indeed depend on the day,
how you're feeling, or on what you need.
Often in society it is too easy to make the choice of
"it is better that one should always choose the Yes road."
Often this choice can be forced upon an individual, and can turn a happy choice
into an unhappy obligation.
This is very sad for a soul. It is abrasive and abusive.
This way of thinking resists What Is and too often gives birth to dysfunctional action.
Resistive Action.
An acceptance of What Is spurs action that is fruitful and friendly.
Acceptance Action.
The gentleness of questioning "Am I weak or strong today?" is human.
It bears a choice/action that is empowered by life itself.
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Yet, of course, we are not only left-brain, analytical creatures. Thankfully, emotions are also
a part of who we are! Emotionally it feels as if it DOES matter which choice we make.
For we are not a whole and authentic beings unless an emotion is assimilated,
taken in, and consumed.
And so being that I perceive this state of empowerment to be a living process,
alternatively on some days it feels good, authentic, and needed
to affirm, to state, to not question.
Further, I feel it is important that both questions and affirmations be allowed.
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Again, the state of empowerment is a choice.
But for a human being in a physical body, it is often a very difficult choice.
And yet in non-physicality, it appears to have the potential to be an easy choice.
Therefore, the choice for empowerment as "easy" or "hard" is a choice as well.
We all know that on some days it feels easy to be strong,
while on another day it feels hard to be strong.
And so, our psyche can end up where this page started -
However I answer the question,
"Is it easy or hard to be strong?"
"Is it easy or hard to embody strength?"
"Is it easy or hard to ensoul empowerment?"
Not only is it ok,
but it needs to be ok
for authentic human health and happiness.
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Thank you Jon Anderson for inspiriting the title of this page
from the song "State of Independence."